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For many years, children growing up in a single parent family have been viewed as different. Being raised by only one parent seems impossible to many yet over the decades it has become more prevalent. In today’s society many children have grown up to become emotionally stable and successful whether they had one or two parents to show them the rocky path that life bestows upon all human beings. The problem lies in the difference of children raised by single parents versus children raised by both a mother and a father. Does a child need both parents? Does a young boy need a father figure around? Does the government provide help for single parents? What role do step-parents and step-siblings play?
With much speculation, this topic has become a very intriguing argument. What people must understand is that properly raising a child does not rely on the structure of a family but should be more focused on the process or values that are taught to these children as they learn to mature. Children of single parents can be just as progressive with emotional, social and behavioral skills as those with two parents. People claim that the only way for children to gain full emotional and behavioral skills is to be raised by both a mother and a father. When a topic such as this one has a broad amount of variables it is impossible to simply link these problems to only having one parent. In the article, “Single-parent families cause juvenile crime”, author Robert L. Maginnis states, “Children from single-parent families are more likely to have behavior Polito 2 problems because they tend to lack economic security and adequate time with parents”. The simple statement that raw criminals are products of single-parent adolescence is absurd. What this writer must understand is that it can be extremely difficult for one parent to raise a child by themselves for many reasons. A single-parent must work full time to be able to afford to provide for themselves and their child. They must also be able to still have time to offer an exuberant amount of emotional time for the well being of their child. However, even though this may seem impossible, it can be done. As this subject continues to be looked down on people must realize that single parents are becoming more common in today’s world.
Since 1995 the American family structure for children ages fourteen to eighteen consists of forty-two percent living in a first marriage family with both parents, twenty-two percent living in a second marriage step-family, twenty-one percent living in a single parent, divorced or separated family, six percent living in a single parent never married family and three percent living in a single parent widowed family. This is an extremely scary statistic considering that fiftyeight percent of children in America are living in a single parent family. This is a chilling percentage because it shows how little faith is put into a relationship before actually deciding to have children. Unfortunately not all single-parents take the time to perform the vital tasks needed to raise their children. Parents who think they would never be able to provide emotional stability for their children by themselves should have taken the time to think this through before deciding to become parents. Accidents may happen once in awhile but in most cases adults know what is at stake when planning to have a child. Plain and simple, if you’re not ready, than don’t do it. If you do decide to have this child Polito 3 and you love this child, then you can be a good parent. There are many ways to enhance the well being of your child if you simply apply yourselves as parents. Magginnis later states that, “Boys who do not have fathers as male role models suffer especially”. While it is extremely important for a male child to have his father around, there are other ways of teaching a young boy the lessons he needs to become a man.
I know from personal experience that what the author of this article is trying to convey is wrong. I never had my father around while growing up and I did in fact have many positive male role models. My Grandfather was always there to help guide me as I slowly blossomed into a young man. Anytime my mother had to work to support us, my grandparents, aunt’s, uncles and cousins would step up and provide the time and attention I needed. Therefore, I had the best support group I could have had as a young man. Being a child with a single mother had its benefits. Although I came to find how hard it really was for her to always meet the needs of her child, she did the best job that she possibly could and gave me the knowledge that I needed to become a successful man without the guidance of my father. I did however have the experience of dealing with a step-parent. Today, twentyfive percent of all American children will spend at least some time of their growing-up years in a stepfamily. This seems fine for single parents because they feel like they can start over in a new relationship and receive help from their spouse both emotionally and financially. A step-parent can cause confusion and emotional stress on the child since they have just had to adjust to only one parent and now have to adjust to a new parental figure stepping into the family role. Another factor of bringing a step-parent into a single family’s life is new step-siblings to get along with. It might not be justified for a step- Polito 4 parent to punish their step-child like they would their own flesh and blood. As long as both parents have an understanding that their family comes first and that it is important to communicate between themselves and with the children, a step-family could survive. Children who are raised with both a mother and a father have more attention from both parents therefore they get the emotional time they need to progress in life. This could be true but not in all circumstances. It would not be beneficial at all to grow up in a two parent family who did nothing but argue and put each-other down. Naturally, a child who sees this from a very young age until they are ready to be out on their own would only follow in the footsteps of all that they have ever known. Children who are raised by one parent who devotes their time and emotion into their child would benefit much more than a child who has both parents showing them that fighting and arguing is acceptable. Not all families are lucky enough to have a healthy structure.
It is important for society and government aids to notice these structural differences and take action. There should be government funded programs to help assist single-parent families with childcare and finances for parents who must work and still have time for their children. Whether it’s a mother and a father, a single mother, or a single father, children need guidance. They will only become a product of what they are taught from a young age and these children are deeply affected emotionally by the amount of love and compassion that is put into raising them. Whichever family structure is implied it must be one of respect and strong moral values that they can someday pass on to their family.
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Everyday in one way or another we are trying to find happiness in a complete chaos, that is what all we are struggling for. Actually, temporary happiness is everywhere if we want to find it and search for it. Sometimes it is just as close as a cute kitten to us, sometimes giving a hand to someone who is in need of us is enough. Even taking a breath may give somebody the absolute happiness at times. But what if we leave temporary happiness alone and decide to construct our lives on basic principles of permanent happiness? Certainly these principles depend on one’s characteristics and point of view. In my opinion, social relations, acceptance and independence are the most important elements of permanent happiness in life.
To begin with, social relations are very important for me to be happy in the general drift of my life. I should have good relations with the people around me for peace of my mind. If I have close and intimate friends with whom I can share my troubles, worries and also my joy, then it means that I have beaten the life up to a very considerable point. In my opinion, someone who has real friends has the most valuable treasure of life. In order to obtain this treasure, I make my friends among the people whose principles resemble mine, whose characteristics best suit me and who are sincere. Besides friends I try to have good relations with the people I encounter somehow everyday, like neighbors, acquaintances, teachers, relatives and the others.
The second element of continuous happiness for me is acceptance: to clarify, acceptance of my characteristics, behaviors, choices and desires. At one point, it can be defined as the acceptance of my existence as a real individual. As long as I am accepted and taken as I am, I can make right decisions for myself. To accomplish this, I explain that I do not want unnecessary criticisms from the people around me. Unless the things I do or think affect anybody, the others should not poke their nose into them. It is none of their business to interfere with me about the subjects that only interest me.
In the third place, learning to be independent is very important for me to reach real happiness in life. I should be self-sufficient enough to continue my life without too much assistance of the others. Sometimes we are left without our families, sometimes none of our friends stand by us or at times we may get into a position where we have to do things just by ourselves. We live our lives not as a team but as an individual, so we must learn to cope with it as individually as possible. To be an independent person, I try to be self-confident and to be a self-confident person I try to obtain different qualities in different fields. Furthermore, I believe my power, love myself with all my faults and endeavor not to repeat them but to learn from them.
To sum up, if I acquire success in social relations, independence and acceptance, then it means that I have the golden key to make happiness an enduring element of my life. Obtaining all these elements may not be very easy, they may be achieved only in the long run but there is something we should always bear in mind, achieving the real and permanent happiness in life is not that easy, either.